Category Archive: Dogs

Jul 21

Letter from exasperated Floss

Dear Readers, Who’d have thought one little lick could have started all this? Dogs lick. It’s what we do. Then I licked again and again until – and I was fascinated by this – a lump formed. I’m just regurgitating what the vet said here. I usually only regurgitate after I eat grass, but these …

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Dec 13

Pets – the gift that keeps on costing

If you surrendered to a loved one who wanted a pet for Christmas it’s not too late to supplement your gift. Yep – I’m talking money. When animals break or get sick they need to be repaired unlike other gifts which can be returned or trashed. Animals are for life – or that’s the idea …

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Jul 24

Floss’s Bark: Skirting around farm gear

A Blog by my Dog. Dear Readers, My boss recently went on a cattle moving mission dressed like a real girlie girl – and being a female, I’m qualified to comment. Oh, the shame! I was, of course, wildly excited when cattle broke through a fence and got onto the beach. Not only is this …

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Jan 06

Letter from freaked out and slightly fat Floss

Dear Readers, I’ve recently lived through a stressful time worrying myself into knots because I was sure the farmer’s death wish would come true. My first inkling he had death wish came when I saw him photograph my boss’s rear end when she was leaning over helping herself to Christmas pudding, brandy butter, custard and …

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Sep 24

My boss the space cadet – by Floss

I was a little put out when Rae questioned my intelligence in a previous blog, therefore I’ve put paws to keyboard in the name of the truth – it’s the boss who’s the space cadet. It’s true I’ve had mishaps but these next questions all have the same answer: Who put me on the back …

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Jul 15

Dogs and fishing don’t mix

Floss, b/w border collie, at the shelly point at Batley

It’s commonly thought dogs are banned from beaches because they frighten some people, fight amongst themselves and leave smelly poos. But that’s not true – it’s because dogs are incompatible with fishing. They’re such greedy gutses they will nick your bait, hook, line but probably not your sinker and gobble down entire fish – including …

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Jun 18

Clever Kate

Farmers use special language to speak to dogs even though they – the dogs – can work things out themselves and understand conversational English. ‘The farmer’ appears to think dogs understand expletives and he uses terms like “Git away back” and “Git in behind” which I suspect are the farming equivalent of legalese which we …

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May 17

Floss the drama dog

Floss on the beach

For an exciting few minutes I thought my dog Floss had medicated herself, although ripping off her loose toenail was never going to be in the same league as, say, repairing her smashed bone, regurgitating chocolate cake, fast tracking staples through her gut or preventing a gaping wound from becoming infected. But even though it …

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Apr 13

Human obedience class – listen to your dog

Dogs must get so exasperated with humans – we expect them to be obedient, but don’t take nearly enough notice of their instructions. I’ve recently attended four human obedience classes and now know that when a dog acts in an unusual fashion I need to respond. Lesson One happened when Kate, a smarter-than-average dog, rushed …

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Feb 28

Letter from Floss

My dog Floss on the beach at Batley.

If car chasing’s your game, allow me to recommend Batley. It’s car chasing heaven or so close to it, you won’t know the difference. No more standing for hours by your garden gate only to have cars zoom by and leave you in the dust. Batley’s a dead end so your victims start slowly and …

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