Dec 05
Zana Bell’s latest novel Close to the Wind is a playful romp that takes its characters across the world, from Britain to New Zealand. It’s fun, funny and meticulously researched – I know this because a while back Zana was querying how long it would take to travel by horseback from Christchurch to Dunedin, in …
Nov 19
I hadn’t thought ‘lightly’ and ‘politely’ could be interchangeable until a letter from a rental vehicle company proved that, indeed, this is so. We share a Kaipara beach with ‘no camping’ signs which were ignored by some freedom campers I met during a preprandial wander. The couple, whose van had been parked all day, were …
Oct 29
Spring has sprung, the grass has ris’, daffodils are blooming and lambs have bloomin’ popped out everywhere. But unfortunately it’s not always a lamb that pops out but what farmers call a ring or bearing. In fact, it’s a prolapsed vagina. The farmer reckons about three of his sheep a year suffer this misfortune which, …
Jul 24
A Blog by my Dog. Dear Readers, My boss recently went on a cattle moving mission dressed like a real girlie girl – and being a female, I’m qualified to comment. Oh, the shame! I was, of course, wildly excited when cattle broke through a fence and got onto the beach. Not only is this …
Jul 08
Anticipating cultured conversation after a local theatre performance, we retired to the bar for a night cap. But as this is a rural area, talk was all about an entirely different type of culture – a strange gooey, gunky and shiny brown growth. I’d first spotted it while being a marshal for the Rally of …
Jun 11
When Maureen Sudlow asked me to review her children’s book, Fearless Fred and the Dragon, this is what I had to say: “Children will be amused and engaged when they meet Fearless Fred who, wearing tinfoil armour, sets off to fight a snorting dragon. Told in rhyming couplets and featuring repetition that will delight younger …
May 27
Here’s a gentle plea to all those passionate people who exhort the rest of us to grow our own food – kindly stop insisting it’s all such jolly good fun. These gardeners – who you’ve seen on telly and read about in newspapers and magazines – gush and enthuse and rave and chortle. Gardening is …
May 10
At a seminar about the challenges farmers face when employing staff, the farmer turned to me and whispered, “This is why I work with animals.” When you work with animals, you don’t need to talk to them and if you do, it doesn’t make a jot of difference to their behaviour. When he moved sheep …
Apr 15
I’d just made morning coffee for a visitor when I spotted cattle meandering down the road. The visitor agreed to help return them to their paddock, saying he’d seen them on the road and, in retrospect, should have mentioned them. Townie, I thought. And, he said, he’d have sworn they were cows. Townie, I thought. …
Mar 15
My fitness programme – moving cattle every other day – is apparently ‘green exercise’, not because grass is involved but because it serves a purpose. However, like other fitness programmes, I soon didn’t want to do this one either. After turning off the power, I’d pin down the electric fence in the technosystem and step …
